Dreams leading to Reality
Welcome to my musings.... dreamings... rantings... pausings....
September 14, 2005
What does it take ?
It takes the experience of loss to understand the value of gain...
It takes the pain of grief to value the existence of joy...
It takes the power of understanding to being wise..
It takes the drowning in lust to survive in love..
It takes the fast flow of resources to contain your existence..
It takes overcoming your weakness to gain strength...
It takes the pall of boredom to appreciate labor..
It takes the toothless smile of an newborn infant to believe in motherhood...
It takes a silent moment with yourself to gain self confidence..
It takes a failure to strategise better...
It takes a deception to sharpen your perception..
It takes an enemy to build better friendships..
It takes lies to affirm the policy of honesty...
It takes power-cuts to appreciate candelit moments...
It takes me .... a while .. to ponder through this...
but... it takes nothing to be yourself... warts, thorns , callouses and all...
September 13, 2005
Seven things Tag
Suma, here is my list... for you
Seven things you plan to do before you die!!
- Backpack around the unexplored parts of the world with hubby
- Have three beautiful homes, two Jeeps and two bikes..
- Have two kids
- Become an artist
- Have two cats, two dogs and some birds..
- Write some books..
- Always almost keep myself and my family happy..
- Sing...
- Make nifty things with odds and ends
- Magic , Tarot , Healing
- Learn my lessons well
- Keep my sense of humor almost at all times..
- Hold on to my dreams
- Make my dreams into reality�
- Dance
- Play the Guitar
- Gardening
- Let myself down
- Be what I am not
- Sit without doing anything
- Handle fools, nags and copy cats
- Humor
- Deep Voice
- Thick wavy hair
- Warmth
- Expressive Eyes
- conversation skills
- Cool Attitude
- For what joy ?
- What the F*&*@# ? ( when I am really pissed)
- Yeah Right
- Gimme a break
- Cool
- Whats up ?
- EEESHHH
- Tom Cruise
- Kumar Gaurav ( yep he was my teen crush� )
- Manoj Kumar (this was when I was 8 years old)
- Gregory Peck
- Cary Grant
- Clark Gable
- Sean Connery
September 08, 2005
E- Volution
Then: Waking up to a gurgling stream.
Now: Waking up to people..
Then: Time ... a slow motion
Now: Time .. a fast forward
Then : Giggling over a fallen pencil..
Now: Laughing at TV sitcoms
Then: Chasing Catterpillars
Now: Chasing Balance Sheets
Then: Telephone
Now: Yahoo Messenger
Then: Boy next door... showing off Karate to impress me
Now: Watching my man do a karate chop on me...
Then: Playing home ..
Now: Making home..
Then: Trust easily given
Now: Trust.. a very rare gift
Then: Taken for a ride
Now: Going for a ride
Then: Hating Dal..
Now: Cannot do without Dal..
Then: Lonely without friends
Now: Lonely .. the best company
Then: Dreaming big...
Now: Dreaming bigger...
Then: Mills and Boons
Now: Paulo Coelho
Then: Long long hair
Now: Almost no hair.. buhahaha
Then: PenFriends
Now: Emails
Then: Diaries
Now: Blogs
Then: Eagerly flying the coop
Now: Dying to fly back
Then: climbing hills, hot dog , clandestine dates, library, He- Man..
Now: Work, home, rides, food, investment, couples, libraries, Desperate Housewives...
Then: NP Green and Yellow packed Chewing gum
Now: Anti Bacterial, Teeth Whitener, Low calorie blah blah blah Chewing gum
Then: Badminton and Basketball...
Now: Swimming and walking..
Then: QSQT
Now: KHNH
Then: What is love ?
Now: What is life ?
Then: Fresh Cherries and sweet and sour Tamarind ...
Now: Strawberries and Cranberries...
Then: Pastels and shawls
Now: Bright colors and fabrics
Then: Physics, Chemistry and Maths
Now: English, French, German
Then: Lines and Circles...
Now: Words and more words
Then: Long Holidays
Now: Weekends
Then: Dogs and Cats..
Now: Sparrows and Parrots
Then : Playing Cupid
Now: Playing Cupid
Then: Diary Milk Fruit and Nut
Now: Hershleys
Then : yearning to be an adult
Now: yearning to be a kid
Then: Listening to stories
Now: Telling stories...
Then: Unsure but excited...
Now: Very sure but still excited...
Then: Who am I ?
Now: I am what I am
September 06, 2005
Whammies
Decisions are in...
Procrastination is out...
Pickles are in...
Fat is out..
Fish is in ...
Meat is out..
Planning is in...
Splurging is out..
Relatives are in..
Distance is out..
Connection is in..
Seperation is out...
Elevation is in..
Levelling is out..
Money is in..
Money is out...
Space is in...
Staring at it is out...
Cupid is in...
Analysis is out..
Strategies are in..
Impulses are out...
Tea ohne Milch und Zucker is in..
Kafee mit Milch und Zucker is out..
Sliding doors are in..
Huge showcases are out..
the present is in..
the past is out...
And its time to rock and roll...
Decisions
Its time to make one and its hard to make one specially if it is with regard to your dreams... how much can you compromise with your dreams so that only a shadow of what you thought your dream was remains and the dream remains just that... a dream...
Anyway... this is with the hope that I do not have to compromise much on my dream and I am working hard at making it a reality...
The esteemed chief minister made a visit to the affected areas in Bangalore after the rains... and well his promises does not seem so convincing.. and the people are left just venting their frustations at the sad state of affairs...
Pai Layout on Old Madras road is nothing short of a mini Katrina ... according to friends... and the same can be said of many other areas which we dont even know of..
Bangalore was not like this some years back... though drainage was always weak.. there used to be a respite from the water logging within a very short time..
I still remember that we used to have one flash flood sort of thing once a year... this year seems to take the cake with the washing away scene keeping on repeating itself again and again...
Are this gloomy visions of the future where with one burst of rain clouds... we have a disaster looming upon us.. monsoon is the time to enjoy the rains and not suffer for it..
On the flip side:
I was visiting relatives where I found them laughing and making fun of the water.. since for them water like this is everyday occurence in Assam..
Rocks says the same of his student days where most part of his days during the rains was spent is wading through knee deep water and that place still remains so.. people just wait for the water to recede and at the worst the people remain at home.. life continues without a blink of an eye...
Bangalore seems to be crying disaster more often than not but before crying they should have thought about drainage when building their houses... wherever they could find the space... it not only shows the poor foresight of thhe
September 02, 2005
Harmony ... go figure..
Searching for a perfect harmony ... longing for the sights and sounds of peace and the serene breeze of a lazy afternoon.. and not of rushing traffic...and deadlines.. guess I am not over my hangover.. happens I guess when one takes a long break.. but then again I need the Bread and the Marmalade that goes with it too... for a life...
Meanwhile.. I have started a hunt... now it remains to be seen whether the hunt is successful..
The area around our apartment was once upon a time a very green place.. now the construction workers.. have started building houses like mushrooms... and we have tractors from other places coming and covering the green part with demolition dumps.. and until late I thought it was going to be used for construction... silly me.. they were just looking for a place to dump and dump they have... and to my relief.. the house owners who have recently built their houses have taken to protesting.. and its funny sometimes to see the fight happening almost everytime where one house owner in particular parks his Kinetic Honda in front of the huge tractor and makes him turn back all the way..... way to go... and I can still see a patch of green if I squint and crick my neck sideways... the time of freely admiring the sun rising while sipping your tea .. through the landscape has gone... and we adapt as usual...
Thinking of joining the Jeep gang to go to Cauvery Fishing Camp this Sunday... or should we just laze around... hmmmm...
Finished reading Paulo Coelho's The Zahir... it was not so uplifting as his other books but ok anyways.
Google Talk is the happening thing now.. . Am in the process of trying it...
Due to this Blog Day event... I have discovered many new blogs... so much to read.. so little time..
Saw this beautiful movie Aastha.. by Basu Bhattacharya... Mature and Strong storyline... makes you think.. how easy or difficult it is being a woman and a human ... a strong movie in many ways.. and brillant performances by Ompuri and Rekha.. (Discretion required when watching with kids)
And I am tripping on this at this moment... Love the guitar piece... here..
Nirvana / David Bowie / Jordis Unga ( she sang this beautifully) The Man Who Sold The World We passed upon the stair We spoke of was and when Although I wasn't there He said I was his friend Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes I thought you died alone A long long time ago Oh no, not me I never lost control You're face to face With the man who sold the world I laughed and shook his hand And made my way back home I searched for form and land For years and years I roamed I gazed a gazely stare We crossed a million hills We must have died alone A long long time ago Who knows? Not me We never lost control You're face to face With the man who sold the worldListening to Nirvana, Something in the Way.. I was surfing channels when I saw this... DOC A to DOC B: I have a Hernia Patient to see. DOC B: Oh yeah .. what is his name DOC A: Oh his name..?? Hernia Patient but I lovingly call him Hernia.. Have a nice weekend Folks...
August 30, 2005
Blog day... and something to rock
A very happy Blog Day2005 to you ...
Bloggers that I recently found worth a read
Deepak Chopra
Nandita Das
Parth
Thoughts on a Lonely Afternoon
Life or something like it
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These days I am surrounded with Rock music it seems and well I must say it reminds me of my college days when I used to blast music... without caring a damn about the neighbors...
Now it seems that this has come back to haunt me... but in a good way..
Have got a dedicated rock fan... blasting good old rock to his or her heart's content and that makes me swing myself now and again... yeah now I am feeling like doing the same...
Shall we compare notes through music.. would be a good idea... buhahahah !! at least its not the same music again and again... like another neighbor... PHEW...
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15 days of vacation and I have 5 newborns to visit... there are baby boys all around.. And I am going mad shopping for blue...
I am also surrounded by baby talk.. here and there.. how the labour went and what color poo the baby has.. ( i know that the poo changes color every some days) !! In a way its nice to see the parents so excited...
Knowledge stashed for further use I think...
Rash.. you are scaring me with your notes... LOLOL..
Somehow I noticed that just some months back it was all girls and now its all boys.. does the universe plan in such a way that one phase only boy babies are born and one phase only girl babies are born ... I wonder ... *scratching my head*
This would take care of the female foeticide in some wierd way.. if they knew how to control this.. Oh heck...
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Am hooked on to ROCKSTAR INXS. They have some serious talent there and its amazing to see how much it takes to make a Rockstar... I think after Amazing Race.. this is one of the best reality shows that has come across television... if you can ignore the hysterics... and focus on the way they play the music... YOu can watch the next show today... Suzie is trying to sing Bohemian Raphsody. And WHOA mama that is one tough vocal.. to bleat... I am waiting to see how she performs... I like her and I also like Mig...and Jordis though she totally spoilt Aerosmith's song last show.. but it is interesting to watch them try...
It airs on Sunday ( 10 :00 PM) , Tuesdays ( 10:00 PM) and Wednesdays ( 9:00 PM)... in Star World.
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And methinks that TOI does not like bloggers much... going by this article which had something of a wierd feel to it... Is blogging really a shadowy world in the Internet...just because someone deletes his post and decides to go off blogging or to another anonymous name... well thats one of the concept of blogging isnt it or just because someone wants to remain anonymous... ?? I thought it was the opposite... TOI must be on a demolish the blogger fraternity mode... go figure..
According to this article.. .bloggers are better writers than speakers.. huh.. not to me.. All the bloggers that I have met ... have a good quotient of intelligence and great personalities and this is a cool hobby I say... now what does is TOI aiming at ???
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Also found this cool blog site... Intent Blog... I am liking reading what Rahul Khanna has to say..
Also Nandita Das' Experience can be pretty interesting to read... thank god its not colored with the glam sham and they can be perceived as the people they are.. Also you might want to check out Shekar Kapoor's Intellectual discourses.. ( which sometimes fly by me head) and yep Deepak Chopra also has a popular entries here...
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Tripping on : Dave Matthews Band - Before these Crowded Streets...
Technorati tags: Blog Day, Rock
August 29, 2005
Train Notes.... where are you from ???
And here we go again...
On boarding the train in Cooch Behar.. I have a somewhat old passenger(OP).. coming down and sitting opposite our berth... One by one the passengers come by and start filling in the train.. I watch as a smart man (DOC) comes and seats himself... bang opposite me.. He sizes us up and then smoothly takes out his mobile and starts talking... Another gentleman quickly makes himself confortable and starts talking on his mobile..
ME( wondering) : Technology has taken over even a place as small as this..
Suddenly I was bombarded with mobile ringing here and there.. ... and it seemed to me that everyone was talking at the same time... OHHH.. after what seemed like an hour I looked at myself and well just for timepass took my NOKIA 3230.. BUhahahah!!! the smart man opposite eyed my cell very covetedly... while I talked to my aunt... now that shut them up alright ( EVIRL SMILE)
OLD MAN to the man on the side berth: So where are you coming from ?
Man on the side berth: Cooch Behar ( with a polite smile )
OLD MAN: oh so what do you do.. ?
Man on the side berth: I work ( looking sheepishly around at so many other people who seem to be listening to the conversation.)
OLD Man: I understand work but what work ?
Man on the side berth: ( a little irriatated but out of politeness) I am in Finance .
OLD MAN: Oh there is a treasurer there... ??
Man.... : ( finally getting fed up) Yes I am working there, posted in Cooch Behar, going to visit my family.. and then coming back.. I like working here.. blah blah... ( then goes back to his magazine
OLD MAN ( looking at us furtively)
Rocks: Not aware... possibly dreaming of Jeeps and Bikes..
Me : Putting my nose up to avoid any questions... bury my face in a magazine..
OLD MAN to the person next to him ( lets call him A) : What will happen to this country
A: ( somewhat politely ) yes ?
OLD MAN: You know this Rajniti doing Brashtachar..
ME: ( all ears set to listen to an interesting discussion)
It is to be noted that in Bengal it is the THING to discuss politics to break the ice.. all the souls seem to unite in cursing the government here...
OLD MAN ( after his political discourse..) to A : So where are you from ?
A: I am from Cooch Behar
OLD MAN: What do you do ?
A: I am a Doctor..
OLD MAN ( very proudly ) : Oh yes.... you see I was in the Health too.. I retired..
A: Oh yes .. how nice..
OLD MAN: Do you work or do you have a practice..
A: I do both.. in Kolkatta.
OLD MAN: Oh ...
OLD MAN ( looking at us furtively)
Rocks: Jeeps , Bikes, Sleep, Bangalore in his thoughts,... now he is drooling over a Hummer in the Magazine.. .
ME : Bury my face deeper in the magazine.. GOSH Amir Khan had an an illegitimate baby... BIG News... Kareena coming closer to Shahid after the kissing episode... well whats new... ( UGH if only i could take my face beyond the magazine)
Rocks ( all excited) : Tells me the specs of HUmmer.. I jump with relief and we engage in an animated conversation about F1, Jeeps, SUVs, Italjet.
A: All curious but maintaining his silence..
OLD MAN: Peering at us through his glasses... more curiouser...
Me slowly realising that we were acting like specimens in the BHODRO dabba... so I go back to the filmi ruminations.. Where was I ? Ah Corsets are in fashion... now ..
A: getting bored... singing nice songs by himself... Partly it was to avoid conversation with the old man...
ME: Closing my eyes and listening to the music.... pretending to read... thinking to myself.. A has got a nice voice..And the train goes CHUG CHUG to his HUMM HUMM..
Old man makes a big deal of him wanting the lower berth .. no matter what...
Night falls and after a lot of whining to the TT, he gets his lower berth..
Tall man C comes with friend B to sleep... they make a huge noise.. seem to be good pals.. nice to see them bantering.. methinks..
OLD MAN looks them over curiously... and tells them a long story about him wanting to exchange his middle berth for lower berth and blah blah...
B says fine.. before he could finish .. and promptly arranges for the night...
C suddenly comes over and curses * SHAALA* and jerks WHATCHAMACALLIT towards me thinking that I was asleep
ME ( affronted ) Eije DADA... Ki Korchen ( What are you doing )
B ( cooly as if jerking pests at fellow passengers was no big deal) : Ki holo ( what happened)
ME: Jaake aapni Shaala bole jhakda dilen... ota to amar gaye porlo. Ektu dekhe... please... ( What you called Shaala and threw it fell on me... Watch it please)
B: O ota kicho na... ( that was nothing)
ME: Rolling my eyes... but decide to bury my nose into a book...
OLD MAN: watching this very intently with peering eyes...
All the co passengers go to sleep... my brain also stops observing...
In the middle of the night... I see Rocks getting up for his nature call.. Next I see some Hijdas crossing the bogey... Rocks comes out and spies them now knowing that he has the invariable habit to get caught in sticky situations... decides to go back to the toilet and wait for the mandli to go by... After some moments he comes back relieved and tells me this story later in the morning... to my great amusement...
Next morning:
We were conversing in Assamese and English and in West Bengal Assamese is what Tamil is to Karnataka.. Rocks is spending his time snoozing while I gulp down tea from the hawkers that pass by.. I also see people buying lot of stuff from the hawkers.. and then go back to reading my book..
OLD MAN desperately wanting to talk.. catches on to B ( c's friend ) who is awake and chirpy: So where are you coming from.. ?
B: From Dhubri
OLD MAN: I was also in Dhubri...See when you want tea you will never get tea.. .
B : Oh I had mine...
OLD MAN: You know the sheets that we sleep are never washed... how can you all sleep like that ( after he has had a good night's sleep)
B ( who was traveling for the first time was quite stunned) : Yeah ( with a worried look)
OLD MAN: Yeah where will they have the time to wash all that... they just fold and give it back to us...
B : Quietly listening and suddenly gets up to wake his snoozing friend... desperate for diversion.. he decides to go for a walk... then..
ME: rolling my eyes... SIGH
Rocks and me keep talking about this and that... Now it is to be noted that Rocks though familiar with the Bangla language cannot speak properly. Observe how he carries on a 5 minute conversation with only single words... I found that pretty amazing
Suddenly OLD MAN seizes chance and catches on to Rocks.
OLD MAN: So where are you coming from ?
Rocks: Cooch Behar
OLD MAN: Oh you have relatives ?
Rocks : Mesho ( Uncle)
OLD MAN: You from Assam ?
ROcks : Bangalore
OLD MAN: What do you do
ROcks: Service
OLD MAN: So what does your mesho do ?
Rocks: Retired
OLD MAN ( not yet giving up ) : Hmmm Oh I might know him .. tell me his name
Rocks: N Chakravarty
OLD MAN: Where does he stay in Cooch behar ?
Rocks ( now at the end of his vocab) : Rani ...( MUMBLE) ... Mumble
ME: ( having had enough... smiling to myself at the Old Man's Persistence) : Ranibagan and my uncle is from Shillong. You might not know him...
OLD MAN: (Getting a small start at hearing me speak... ) OH ... we are reaching Sealdah
ME: yes we are...
Suddenly the old man sees A hurriedly .. getting up on one socked leg and pulling his bags and rushing out..
OLD MAN to all of us: You see you see ,... how "bhodro" ( decent) society fellas behave.. he is a medical.. profession.. has a practice and yet does not have any social hygiene..how dare he put his put up like that... there is no decency... this is what is bringing down the society... yada yada yada ... blah blah blah... ( and this is the person he had the longest conversation with during the journey ... who bothered enough to talk to him about his profession and politics... go figure the human mind.)
Suffice it to say that ME and ROCKS and all the co passengers.. were never too relieved to see the Sealdah Station I guess..
PS: this post is not to offend any Bongs.. this is to please be taken in the spirit of humor...
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