Of Crushes and Starry nights...

I was reading Handa's blog where he finally talked to his crush.. and it reminded me of the paras from the poem.. Yarrow Unvisited by Wordsworth. `Be Yarrow stream unseen, unknown; It must, or we shall rue it: We have a vision of our own, Ah! why should we undo it? The treasured dreams of times long past, We`ll keep them, winsome Marrow! For when we`re there, although `tis fair, `Twill be another Yarrow! What is it about crushes that make it so poignant and makes your heart beat aflutter.. Whether it is the boy next door.. or that someone who just makes eye contact and there seems to be bird chirping a sweet song.. thus making you see colors of a beautiful rainbow.. a vision of your own where everything is perfect and made for you.. .just the way you want it and the cupids conspire to help you out too... and you do not want to know what lies on the other side.. you are just happy in your imaginary Utopia... SIGH Till you actually are jolted into reality which is so remnant of the para from Yarrow Visited...by Wordsworth. And is this - Yarrow? - This the stream Of which my fancy cherish`d So faithfully, a waking dream, An image that hath perish`d? O that some minstrel`s harp were near To utter notes of gladness And chase this silence from the air, That fills my heart with sadness. Flashback to Standard 8 and a stumbling clumsy just-discovered-boys Jil... Returning from school was always a great event for me during this time since there was this absolutely adorable and smart guy who lived near by school and we happened to cross each others path.. very frequently.. We would be happy making eye contact and let it be.. I was too gawky and tom boyish to admit that I was smitten but there I was smitten to the core... DROOL.. till our friends came to know about it and well the charm was getting to be a little tedious.. because now we had friends looking out for each other... Still those stolen glances.. and the moment we would pass each other by the road would be like thunder and lightning bouncing off us... Well it was our moment and there was definitely clapping going on with both hands... LOL ... Life was bliss... Interval.... ( My most embarassing moment in life.. and my best performance as a pseudo actress) Someone came and told me that his sister was our Senior ##$#@$ and he had a girlfriend... Double @%#^@#@ but heck I was okay and had a sadistic pleasure seeing him waiting.. opposite our classroom which faced their terrace.. or meeting him on the road when no one was looking... what timing.. we automatically or rather he automatically coordinated our passing-by each-other sessions very carefully... You can imagine.. it was the talk of the class... and well.. it did not last long.. There is a small flutter in the senior class too and well as you can imagine.. the sister.. goes ahead and has a talk with the guy... and he totally denies it... She then marches to my class during recess and has a talk with me... making it the most embarassing moment of my teen life...

She: Hi, how are you .. I am R and I just wanted to talk to you.. Me (Nervous and trapped like a deer in the glare of a truck light) : yes.. hi.. ( a little reticent.. and respectful since she was a senior By now one by one my friends have deserted me and I am surrounded by her pals.. watching the fun..) She: Hmm (with a sly smile) so you are after my brother ( Heck... how did that happen.. it he who started it all ) ... yeah I know he must be acting up with you too... and Well you know I am okay with it .. But when I asked him about it .. he denied the whole thing and said that he did not know any Pallavi... he also has a girlfriend.. who is my best friend... ( she was very pretty and was right there some distance away.. where was my hole.. to go and hide myself..) ( PHUTTTT .. my teen bubble burst... a little and I was watching my heart being broken into tiny pieces.. for the rejection.. though I understood later that he was in an awkward position of having a girl and making eyes at someone else.. .LOLOL his sister was duly worried.. at her philanderous brother's antics...) Me (Squirming and trying to come up with a very good way to shut her up) : yeah but who told you that I was interested in your brother ? She: Well I have friends too you see ( smiling slyly again) Me (this time had to come with an answer fast) : Well I know your bro .. but heck we meet so many people.. and yeah friends tease I guess.. and for your information I already have a guy ( That was a BIG lie) She (catching on to my lie and deciding to take my trip...) : Yeah !! and who is he ? Me (with red flaming cheeks and ears.. try to sport an attitude..) : Well back in Delhi ( I never saw Delhi in my life till then.. just had relatives... she thought the blush was because of the guy... man could I act..) She (a little confused) : oh ok then i am sorry... but I still wish to tell you that he already has a.... ( yeah how many times will she rub it in ? ) Me( getting warm to the lie and wanting a stop to this ) : hey R look yaar.. i think I am going to marry the chosen guy soon and its been all arranged from childhood ( YEAH right !! Hindi movie scene cut and a lot of Mills and Boons feedback on the brain...) and well things are serious between our parents and so I could not think about another guy forget about your brother.. I am not allowed to.. you see... ( very shyly) .. . and I really like this guy of mine... She (a little unsure now) : Oh ok .. chill man.. it was nice to talk to you.. errr... I think this is a misunderstanding.. .... TING goes the bell.. Me (relieved to bits and know what saved by the bell means..) : Oh there is the bell.. we start our classes now.. if you please excuse me..( pretending to be very busy with books and pens .. ) She (very friendly now) : Sure sure... bye ...

Me totally feeling like loser and cursing my friends who had suddenly appeared and looked desperately for a HOLE to bury myself in... LOLOL I was 13 and all that soap ( we had only Buniyaad and Hum Log running then on TV) was too much for me to take... But if you think that this dampened our quota of stolen glances.. you can think again.... Being teenagers... rebelling against something comes automatically.. so stolen glances and chemistry of passing each other by continued but more discreetly of course... !!! buhhaahah !!! TILL ONE DAY....... WE ALL GREW UP....